Have i become a Christian for so long dat i forgot how miserable life can be without God?

This struck me during today's sermon. I've been a Christian for 5 years le. *Whoa!!!* A relatively guai one. Not comparing to God's standards of course, dat accounts for the 'relatively'. And God was gradually taken for granted. He'll always be there and blah blah blah... Pastor was like saying, "Why not you try living one day as if God is dead?" At first i was kinda attracted to the idea of living as a non-believer. Then as i think further, it started to dawn upon me how horrible life can be w/out God.

...studying and going for exams without God...
...kana backstabbing from friends without God...
...shop day in and out trying to stay in fashion...
...desperately trying to find identity in wad i wear and do...
...get ditched by boyfriends after boyfriends...

Sigh. I'm not that strong after all. Guess i'll stick to God. Not that God is a clutch. But that God is the reason why we live and breathe and sing that without God, life would be so miserable and meaningless... Hmmm...

Went bai nian. Lotsa funny stuff happened. I prefer my mum's side of relatives, because i have 7 cousins there and of these 7 cousins, 3 are married and thus there are 6 kids there. Power hah. I guess we relate better...

My cousin, previously from acs(i), went to aust to study 1 yr foundational course and is now back in army. He's got a place (already) in university of melbourne. Ane me, still stuck here. sigh. He went aust cuz he failed cheena. So funny. Then they were comparing me and him, and i said i could've taken the exam fer him. They suggested i go teach cheena and told me the bright future a cheena teacher has. It's true lah, cheena teachers earn a lot. I can go acs(i) and give them tuition. They're rich, and their cheena sucks.

This other cousin, now married with two kids, was telling us how naughty he was. He confessed that he played with my uncle's fish and it died. Haha. And his younger son fed their pet fishes with crackers. Two died. Another fish died when he kept stirring the water in the tank. lolx. Mayb it runs in the genes.

Yup. After visitin my relatives, my parents decided thati should visit my nanny. yup, i have a nanny. I haven't seen her fer 7-8 years. I'm not exactly a very sociable person and not a very grateful one either, but nonetheless i went.

She din change, still has this motherly look, and boy is she happy to see me. You see, i was under her care when i was in pre-sch and i can't really rmb wad happened then. It's pretty vague, tho i still rmb her and her 3 daughters. Was glad i met her. They were so happy to see me and commented on how i was taller and still slim and stuff. I neva knew that i had sucha special place in their hearts. Guess absence do make the heart grow fonder.

Pres match. heh. poor bush.

1 Kucinich Score: 100%
2 Kerry Score: 81%
3 Sharpton Score: 78%
4 Clark Score: 76%
5 Dean Score: 75%
6 Edwards Score: 74%
7 Lieberman Score: 66%
8 Bush Score: 25%

ripped tis' off

piece of advice for the forthcoming year of the monkey. very sound advice, based upon ancient chinese philosophical, cultural, theological and geomanical understandings, studies and research. take and heed advice seriously and keenly. let it also be my most heartfelt wish to you in this festive season.

in the year of the monkey . . . TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR BANANA!!!

*to sam and cori and joehan and hueva debater reading tis..... take care of your banana...

Did spring cleaning. my desk ish sooooooo.... clean now. hah. wonder how long it'll last. Tis' year's prolly the firx year i need not go my relatives' houses... why? cuz i've juz disowned them. Nah. Cuz' they're all at mine instead. Yea. Really crowded juz now. My cousin's daughter are already in p3 & p4. Was talking to them juz now. They're such a sweetie. They speak their mind. Which made me apprehensive about talking to them but at the same time made me unusually at ease talking to them. Another cousin's son... juz keeps getting fatter and fatter each year. I noe it's mean but it's true! He's soooo.... chubby... haha.. Moi cousin, the one in aj, ish going to ns nex mth. He's got pretty refined features now, as compared to now he looked like 2 years ago. Hah. People do change, physically and emotionally.

I can't wait fer cny to be over. It's not like i still have hopes abt gaining weight during this season. So let's get it over and done with. Why do i always sound so evil towards cny? Hah.

was at town. met her.

She has changed. Wore eyeliner to skh, spoke with a strong american accent, tho not surprising if you know what skh she's from, and dresses up even for skh such dat one can easily tell that she's one of the ''cool'' peeps in skh. It took a moment for me to act understand what she said. And my pathetic 'standard english' failed me miserably. I stuttered and i spoke softly.

She had a nice voice. I miss the actual sound of her voice. I could still imagine her running around teasing and making fun of people in her usual unprotective voice. Is it this defensive mechanism or peer pressure that acted upon her that caused the change?

Did i change? i guess so. Will i change to become like her? Hmmm.

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

I can

I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard it)
I'll be where I wanna be (I'll be where I wanna be)

Be, B-Boys and girls, listen up
You can be anything in the world, in God we trust
An architect, doctor, maybe an actress
But nothing comes easy it takes much practice
Like, I met a woman who's becoming a star
She was very beautiful, leaving people in awe
Singing songs, Lina Horn, but the younger version
Hung with the wrong person
Gotta astrung when I heard when
Cocaine, sniffing up drugs, all in her nose
Coulda died, so young, no looks ugly and old
No fun cause when she reaches for hugs people hold they breath
Cause she smells of corrosion and death
Watch the company you keep and the crowd you bring
Cause they came to do drugs and you came to sing
So if you gonna be the best, I'ma tell you how

I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard it)
I'll be where I wanna be (I'll be where I wanna be)

Be, B-Boys and girls, listen again
This is for grown looking girls who's only ten
The ones who watch videos and do what they see
As cute as can be, up in the club with fake ID
Careful, 'fore you meet a man with HIV
You can host the TV like Oprah Winfrey
Whatever you decide, be careful, some men be
Rapists, so act your age, don't pretend to be
Older than you are, give yourself time to grow
You thinking he can give you wealth, but so

Young boys, you can use a lot of help, you know
You thinkin life's all about smokin weed and ice
You don't wanna be my age and can't read and right
Begging different women for a place to sleep at night
Smart boys turn to men and do whatever they wish
If you believe you can achieve, then say it like this

Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music

Be, be, 'fore we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys
It was empires in Africa called Kush
Timbuktu, where every race came to get books
To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans
Asian Arabs and gave them gold when
Gold was converted to money it all changed
Money then became empowerment for Europeans
The Persian military invaded
They learned about the gold, the teachings and everything sacred
Africa was almost robbed naked
Slavery was money, so they began making slave ships
Egypt was the place that Alexander the Great went
He was so shocked at the mountains with black faces
Shot up they nose to impose what basically
Still goes on today, you see?
If the truth is told, the youth can grow
They learn to survive until they gain control
Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes
Read more learn more, change the globe
Ghetto children, do your thing
Hold your head up, little man, you're a king
Young Prince thats when you get your wedding ring
Your man is saying "She's my queen"

Saturday.

They sat there, prim and proper when we entered. This facade could not hold, for what was within had to give way. Bitchiness, gigglings, hand signals, what have you. Nothing could express the annoyance we felt. Arrogance, belittling, sloppyness. Is this how all the peeps there act like? Besides the name and reputation, what's left but disgust and resentment. Now what can we do, but to let them leave with a whole lot more arrogance, and a whole lot more bitchiness.

Argh.
Thank God i din go to that skh.

I can't find my phone. I got this bad feeling that my bro took it with him. I remember seeing that phone at home. And i have the same phone as my bro. The shakable dog. Where's my phone? *searches...*